Foot Patrol Incident Report #19

Street Shark Surveillance Cam:  AJ Six Rings X???

What an enigma?

Phony Sharkskins is on duty 24-7…look what I found roaming the streets in the early morning (6am)…these must be the next virus plaguing the scene since the swine flu!  This is another pick-a-combo shoe and let’s see if we can name all of the parts:  Six Rings, AJ X…umm, wsup with the upper?…and that tail/heel grip?…Where did that come from?

Finding all of the pieces to this contraption is harder than a crossword puzzle!!! (But its looks as simple at the Daily JUMBLE)  What an enigma!?!

Edward Nigma aka The Riddler couldn’t even solve this puzzle!!! And his riddles are pretty tough (Guess I should have called Batman instead, huh?)

When it comes to fakes, please “DON’T BITE!!!”

*Consolation Prize:  Peep the white paint cracking on the heel to reveal an all red sole…That means this shoe has no mid-sole! [That can’t be comfortable]

Foot Patrol Incident Report #18

Street Shark Surveillance Cam:  Jumpman Pro Force

BUSTED!!!

Wsup gang, it’s Phony Sharkskins once again…this time I tracked down these monsters with my “night vision” while out on the club scene last week.  It’s funny that I haven’t seen this combo before but now I see them everywhere!!! [Guess I wasn’t paying too much attention, huh?]

We can all see that the Jumpman Pro upper is the latest model to be abused in the “fake factories.”  This is a shame…Jumpman Pro Force!?! C’mon yo…this is going a lil too far…So much, that I had to call in an expert on evil spirits…

The homie, Winston, couldn’t even identify these ghosts of the Jumpman past…If a Ghostbuster won’t come near these, who you gonna call???

Phony Sharkskins, of course!!!  Remember, when it comes to fakes…“Don’t Bite!!!”

MIKE VICK is a BEAST

Breaking NFL News from BEASTMAN:

It’s official!!! Mike Vick has signed with the Philadelphia Eagles…

Philly’s offense is loaded now and with a healthy squad, they can definitely go back to another NFC Championship game…and well, who knows?  Did you expect the Eagles to go as far as they did last year?  Would they have beat the Cardinals with Vick?  Gee, I wonder…

If you're not jumping on the bandwagon, you might be a hater! [It’s ok this time, show Vick some “brotherly” love!]

Mike Vick will be a BEAST in the Wild Cat…There are too many options for defenses to consider.  At the least, teams will waste time simply planning for Vick alone (that could get you 2 extra games right there).

So…when can I get my #7 Vick – Eagles jersey?…you know I can’t wait cause I’m a BEAST like that!!!

“I will redeem myself…” – Mike Vick

Foot Patrol Incident Report #17

Street Shark Surveillance Cam:  AJF XI

The shadow of a classic…

Phony Sharkskins reporting for duty!  Here’s another tragedy that I found at the Iverson Celebrity Basketball game weeks ago.   This guy should be cited by the fashion police for impersonating the classic AJ XI.

These must have crept from the shadows of the classic Retro XI and were mutated into an evil twin…This is unexplainable…

Only the work of the Shadow Master could produce such evil…I’m not sure if the Double Dragon duo could save us from these villains…

Definitely, “DON’T BITE” on these fakes…later gang.

Foot Patrol Incident Report #16

Street Shark Surveillance Cam:  Air Yeezy

Looks like too Man-E colors to me!?!

Guess who’s back!  Phony Sharkskins is on the scene once again…This time we have a BEAST wannabe as the culprit.  I found these down at the Allen Iverson Celebrity Basketball game a few weeks ago.  To my surprise, there were quite a few fakes roaming scene (more incident reports coming…).

Once again, why would you even play yourself like this trying to go hard with the Yeezy’s?  I still don’t get it…why is this cool?  And to add insult to injury, dude ended up chilling on A.I.’s team bench!  C’mon Bubba Chuck!  Friends don’t let friends wear fakes!!! Bottom line!  Tell me if I’m wrong, but it looks like there’s too Man-E colors on this shoe to me!?!

Oh wait!…looks like BEAST Man-E Face was just acting like a BEAST and wanted to pretend he had on some exclusive kicks!…That’s a good thing cause no one would really wear these, right?

*NOTE:  As a consolation prize, please enjoy to fake AJF Ol Skool II (???) standing next to the Yeezy’s.

Remember gang, when it comes to fakes…DON’T BITE!!!

Foot Patrol Incident Report #15

Street Shark Surveillance Cam:  AJ IX

We have a mondo problemo, dude!

Phony Sharkskins is back in the building!  Check out another photo captured during the “Countryville Chronicles.”  Looks like the AJ IX with the XX3 pattern on the upper…and where did the green color-way come from? *PAUSE* I don’t know either, but they made me so sick that I turned green in the face! LOL!

In the words on my green faced pal, Michelangelo, “We have a mondo problemo, dude!”  This time I called upon the Gecko [not GEICO…this was definitely not an accident!] to help get rid of this green garbage.  Mondo Gecko promised to trash this junk deep in the sewer on his next extreme skate trip…

Hopefully, these shoes will disappear as fast as Mondo Gecko did in the TMNT series (and never be seen again)…

Til next time…later folks…remember, when it comes to fakes…"DON’T BITE!”

Foot Patrol Incident Report #14

Street Shark Surveillance Cam:  AJF XIII

They just don’t rock steady?!?

Greetings folks…Phony Sharkskins is in the building & I’m reporting back on an outing I had about a week ago…More pics to follow but we’ll call this series the “Countryville Chronicles!”

Well, as you can see, I had to creep into the night to capture these villains…I had never seen this AJ XIII + Air Force 1 combination before so I had to move in stealth mode…as you can see these mutations keep getting weirder everyday…I knew what I was getting into when I rolled out to this event in the middle of the country but wow!  These bad boys just don’t rock steady wit me!!!  Rocksteady & the Foot Soldiers should take these back to Shredder so he can slice & dice this poor excuse for a sneaker!

As a matter of fact…here’s a couple clips of my pal, Donatello, taking care of Rocksteady for good!!!

TMNT - Donatello vs Rocksteady #1

TMNT - Donatello vs Rocksteady #2

If you decide to step out of your shell, make sure you rock steady!  And always remember gang…when it comes to fakes…“DON’T BITE!”

More “Countryville Chronicles” coming soon…

The Mind of Marvin

So what’s going on here…it’s the 4th of July and everyone is supposed to be having a good time with their family & friends and we have to hear tragic news like this…

R.I.P. to Steve “Air” McNair…McNair and an unidentified woman were found shot to death inside a Nashville, TN condominium today…This comes as a total shocker!  What’s going on nowadays?!?  Hope this case gets solved quickly & the family can find some closure to whatever happened to cause this untimely death.

Foot Patrol Incident Report #13

Street Shark Surveillance Cam:  Air Yeezy

“I can’t BEAR it!!!”

Wsup gang…it’s Phony again & I finally caught one of the sought after predators roaming the streets…I caught a glimpse of these yesterday and rushed to find my camera!!!  Unfortunately, these bad boys were on the go so I had to move quick to catch them so I could share with you all.

Wow, my first pair of faulty Air Yeezy’s caught in person!  Dude was strut’n hard in these joints like he was “The Ish!” (Shout out 2 Unruly Records!)  Guess dude didn’t care that this color doesn’t exist; he’s cised to be the only person rock’n these…what a shame…at least they matched his outfit, right? Wrong!… Sorry, I can’t BEAR it!… Doesn’t matter famo…you’ve just committed a major crime & Phony Sharkskins was there to seize this outlaw from Sneaker Justice.

Somewhere, the Kanye West “Bear” is being chased by Sneaker Demons like it’s a nightmare come to life…Stay away from the Flashing Lights!  Come back to the Good Life!  Pump ya brakes, & drive slow homie!…

Remember, when it comes to fakes, “DON’T BITE!”…Later folks

Foot Patrol Incident Report #12

Street Shark Surveillance Cam:  Fusion VII / VIII

Greetings gang…I’m back with another “after-school” special…this time, I found a combo that doesn’t exist on the Jordan Brand menu…umm, VII & VIII fusion?!? Yeah, I had to do a double take the first time I saw these…nevertheless, I’m not surprised…

You’ll be happy to know that I found the culprit who is holding the VII/VIII molds & patterns captive and continues to produce these weapons of mass destruction…

None other than DESTRO himself…calling all G.I. JOE’s!  We have a COBRA loose in the grass!  [Where’s Snake Eyes when you need him?!?]

Top Flight Foot Patrol is on duty…Phony Sharkskins to the rescue! [Yo Joe!]

The Mind of Marvin

Hey world, your pal Marvin here…I know you haven’t heard from me in a while but I couldn’t let this go without saying something…I’m not really mad this time, but rather confused at these senseless acts…

So what was the deal with the LA Laker fans last night after they won the championship?  Fans were seen rioting around the Staples Center…I haven’t seen this type of mayhem in a while….um, didn’t yall know they WON!?!…Why are you tearing down your own home?  Fans were seen igniting bonfires & torches, looting local businesses, destroying & flipping over cars, etc. (see for yourself…click below)

C’mon LA ?!?  Guess the recession is an excuse for anything now?  This is just sad but at the same time I’m not surprised….so what would happen if the Lakers lost???    

2009 NBA Champs – LA Lakers

Congratulations to the 2009 NBA Champion Los Angeles Lakers.  Kobe Bryant finally got the monkey off his back and won a title without Shaq…KB8 definitely deserved Finals MVP by averaging 30-5-5 throughout the entire playoffs…meanwhile, Phil Jackson captured his 10th ring!!!  If coaching success is defined by winning, then Phil is the G.O.A.T. [& I don’t care who he had on his team…how many titles did any of his ‘great’ players win without Phil?  nuff said…]

Back-To-Back?!?  We’ll see in 2010!

BEAST-DATE RECAP: Air Yeezy (NET)

Greetings BEASTS!…Your pal Beast Man is checking in to recap the latest BEAST-DATE that occurred this past weekend.  This was the 3rd release of the Air Yeezy’s.  The first 2 releases brought out plenty of BEASTS…Here’s the rundown on the ‘Net’ Yeezy release…

There were less than half of the BEASTS on location as compared to the Black/Pink release…as you can see, my cuzzo Beast was in line once again leading the pack…everyone got there raffle tickets & waited for their #’s to be called…plenty of BEASTS learned from the last raffle & brought friends to increase their odds with extra raffle tickets…One lucky BEAST walked away with 3 pair!!! [thanks to the 3 females he brought along]…A few BEASTS from the Black/Pink release that did not win any kicks before, got their # called this time…so I guess it all evened out, huh?  The same BEASTS who were crying last time about how unfair the raffle was, walked away with a pair (or more) this time…still fair?

Oh well, nothing left to say (sorry, no real drama this time)…

Love Me or Hate Me…but, look what Beast Man got his hands on!

Til next time,  BEASTS!!!

Foot Patrol Incident Report #11

Street Shark Surveillance Cam: AJ WTF?!?

Who constructed this devastation?

Phony Sharkskins is back on the scene and this time I have a public service announcement to make in a sec…before I do, lets jump in on this latest debacle…in order for you to see what I’m really up against, here’s an enlarged pic for you to view along (click below):

Wow…I’m speechless…where do I start?…these must be the Air WTF!!! I have never seen such a site and it took a while to take this all in…I mean, really?

C’mon man!?!…Air Dub Melo (Rings*) Force Fusion?!? Now this is ridiculous…Who could have constructed such a devastation?

The “Constructicons” combined to form “Devastator” couldn’t even cause a mess this big!!! Real talk, with all those pieces, who’s really in control? Looks like they have a mind of there own…out of control!!!

Ok, first off, let me give you the disclaimer – this is a pic of a kid so I’m not mad at him (well…I am, but not too much)…I’m upset with the parents! If you walk around like you “ballin” and got “stacks”, then why do you have your kids rocking fakes?!? I’m also not going to mention the other fraudulent items (Gucci) that’s not seen in the pic [oops! guess I just did]…somehow, I have the feeling these may have been purchased for average retail price ($70-$120)…if you want to be original, create your own style but you must keep the integrity [no fakes!!!] or else you have failed fashion 101 [miserably!]…you’re spending $$$ anyway, so why not get the real deal? At the least, your kid’s feet will thank you for avoiding those aches & pains during gym class…Stay tuned for another after-school special!

Remember gang, when it comes to fakes…"DON’T BITE!”

[*Note: While editing this post, I discovered another element to the shoe]

BEAST DATE REMINDER: June 6, 2009

Where are you, Yeezy [once again]???

Beast Man checking in once again…just a reminder, the 3rd installment of the Air Yeezy’s are dropping this Saturday. The “Net” Grey Yeezy’s are releasing again in limited quantities…So, let’s see who takes heed to Beast Man’s word this time…

Wanna know where to cop??? If you’re a real BEAST, you already know…but if you wanna know so bad, you can find me at the same location as the last release (black/pink)…let the BEASTING begin!!!

Foot Patrol Incident Report #10

Street Shark Surveillance Cam: AJF12

Phony’s back! Once again, the streets keep calling me back [um…that means there’s too many fakes for me to catch at once…not a good thing people]…Well, I know this pic may look old, but it was taken about 2 weeks ago…how sad…since I keep running into these AJF 12 mishaps everywhere, I might as well keep posting them for you all.

Nothing much to say cause this pic speaks for itself…so, why is the mid-sole so thin? How about that lazy looking swoosh??? These can’t be comfortable at all!?! Is it me, or am I the only one who thinks they look like a Drunken Jack-O-Lantern! (…or maybe they were the result of that drunkenness, ya feel me?!? [yuk!])

Later gang…remember, when it comes to fakes, “DON’T BITE!”

The Mind of Marvin

Welcome Home Mike Vick!

Hello world, it’s your boy Marv signing in to welcome back Mike Vick!…That’s right, Mr. Vick is now back in Hampton, VA on home confinement for the remaining 2 months of his sentence. I’m glad to see this wrapping up and hopefully you earthlings will allow Vick to get his life together and receive a FAIR shot at playing football again.

Of course I wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t upset about something…so I’m calling out all rappers, hip-hop artists/moguls/CEO’s, etc…WHERE IS HIP-HOP WHEN YOU NEED THEM??? How come no one is talking about Mike (in a good way) and giving him props for doing his bid like a solider???…especially since this all started cause of his idiot posse (or lackeys) who messed up and brought Mike down over their mistake…I mean, rappers are always talking about “not snitching” and “doing time” like that sh*t is cool…some how come Mike Vick isn’t cool for serving his time??? (You better answer me hip-hop!!!)

I’m lil upset that Mike continues to get this negative press…Can he live?…with all those reporters literally in his driveway, isn’t that trespassing???…I hate this circus that continues to go on…leave this man’s family alone…I really don’t wanna see Mike’s daughter riding her bike in the driveway on Sports Center!?! Let that man be in peace with his family…he’s been gone for a year and finally gets to be with his fiancé & kids…does he not deserve any privacy???

Ok, let me chill before I really get upset!

Anyway, welcome home Mike! We still love you (no homo)!!!!

CK NBA Playoff Awards (RD 2) COMING SOON

The Conference Finals are set! Lakers vs Nuggets & Cavaliers vs Magic…where will amazing happen next?

Will Kobe & LeBron meet in the Finals? Will LeBron get his first ring? Well…we know Kobe’s got 3 rings & sometimes he can’t keep track of them!?!…[take a look ] LOL!

Round 2 CK NBA Playoff Awards coming soon…

Foot Patrol Incident Report #9

Street Shark Surveillance Cam: Retro XI

“No bread to toast?!?”

Wsup gang…sorry for the delay but once again Phony Sharkskins has been busy saving the world…this time, I’m posting this highly requested pic…If you were amongst the BEASTS at the last Air Yeezy release, you already saw these fugitives from Sneaker Justice…but don’t worry, the Foot Patrol seized them and locked them up for your viewing pleasure & amusement.

These were captured on a kid’s foot that actually got his number called during the raffle…as he approached the front of the line, you heard a few comments like “Where did you get those?…When did Jordan make those?…etc”…c’mon kid…you came to a major sneaker release rocking fakes!?! Bad move shorty, bad move…

Not only did the kid rock fakes, but he didn’t even have the $$$ to pay for the Yeezy’s…apparently his mom left him in line with no money and he couldn’t get in contact with her once at the register…the kid ended up having to leave after a 5-10 min wait and then his spot was given up to another raffle winner.

Sorry kid, if you didn’t have the money, you shouldn’t have been there in the first place…you only embarrassed yourself…I mean, dude had no bread… then, had to walk out [wearing fake classics] with a bitter/sad face…Not even Powdered Toastman could have coughed up enough bread to sweeten up this kid’s day!!!

Normally, I don’t go off on kids…but you gotta learn at a young age…when it comes to fakes, “DON’T BITE!!!”

Foot Patrol Incident Report #8

Street Shark Surveillance Cam: AJF 12

Greetings folks…Phony Sharkskins signing in for a quick post…I wanted to hit yall with tragic case of “False Fusions” LOL…this was a fair attempt at creating the AJF 12 in the playoff colorway…but I didn’t say this was a successful attempt!!!…The leather on these bad boys were definitely on the cardboard-ish side…not a good look in the rain!?!

I think the funniest part are the painted on stripes…whoever made these might as well left those off and went for strictly the AF1 look…

So, who has more useless stripes?!?…theses shoes or the Yipes Stripes zebra?

You be the judge…but remember gang, when it comes to fakes, “DON’T BITE!!!”

CK NBA Playoff Awards – ROUND 1

The votes have been tallied…(drum roll)…and now, The LaunchPad presents the Capital Kicks NBA Playoff Awards!!!

Shout out to Chauncey B-b-b-bill-ups for taking home the most Round 1 CK Awards…(we told you he was a MILE-HIGH MON-STAR!!!)

Where will AMAZING happen next? Round 2 is underway…

LeBron James is a BEAST

“King James is Crowned!”

Beast Man checking here…just wanted to give props to the newly crowded most valuable player…LeBron James was named 2009 NBA MVP today and he accepted his first MVP award in as gracious fashion as he entered the league. The press conference took place at his old High School, St. Vincent St Mary’s in front of his hometown crowd, family, friends, and teammates.

LeBron’s acceptance speech was humbling by giving credit for the award to his teammates (& player’s wives LOL)…He even had a chance to quote the movie “Friday,” by saying…"this [award] belongs to [all of] us, I’m just going to keep it at my house!”…LeBron also called his teammates on stage to share the spotlight and presented everyone with gifts as a sign of his appreciation (wonder if he REALLY paid for those cameras…& the “Beats by Dre” headphones got some free advertising too LOL!!!).

From Beast Man and the CK Crew…CONGRATS LEBRON!!!